You could always drive the SQMS insane. Get some candles (ideally from him!), and light them on issue plates, leaving them around the accommodation. Melted wax, dead matches etc. Get an electric fire or heater from a charity shop for a couple of quid, cut the plug off and leave it in the showers as a towel rail. He won't notice the missing plug and will throw a track. Only to look stupid when you point out the fact that it can't be plugged in and is a towel rail. Get a big bottle of Domestos and another one of Fairy Liquid. Leave them by the block washing machines (having briefed everyone not to use it in the machines). Buy some army accommodation stores from a surplus shop and smash them up, leaving the debris in a bin. Keep the receipt!
Depends on how much you want to burst his blood vessels really.
"...I avow my hope and faith, sure and inviolate, that in the days to come the British and American peoples will for their own safety and for the good of all walk together side by side in majesty, in justice, and in peace"
Sir Winston Spencer-Churchill KG OM CH TD PC DL FRS RA, December 26, 1941.